Who in their right mind volunteers to spend their days dodging rogue maneuvers and white-knuckle rides with nervous newbies? I shudder at the thought!

These unsung heroes of the road calmly face driving test disasters that would send any ‘normal person’ running for the hills.

Picture this: a perfectly sane, normally competent driver transforms into a sweaty-palmed, mirror-forgetting monster the moment they sit next to a person armed with a marking board and the power to revoke their freedom to roam.

It’s a bit like a werewolf transformation, but instead of a full moon, it’s the crippling fear of parallel parking. Suddenly, signals are optional, lane markings become mere suggestions, and the speed limit? Well, that’s just a number, right?

We’re talking about candidates mistaking the left lane for a right turn lane because waiting at a red light is apparently a bigger sin than impending traffic chaos. Or deciding a roundabout is a now-or-never situation, logic be damned, they just suddenly decide the examiner might fail them for waiting too long and off they go! And let’s not forget the near-apocalyptic railway crossing incident where someone (not one of our customers thankfully), thought it was best to stop literally in the middle of the crossing, between the gates has to be the best place, right!

Yet, the examiners remain serene. Imperturbable. Smiling, even! (Probably masking the silent screams, but still!). They’re like driving test ninjas, they navigate this chaos, preventing near-certain vehicular mayhem. They’re basically defusing a bomb, except the bomb is a nervous teenager in a hatchback and the ticking sound is the faint whir of the engine about to stall.

And how do we repay them? With complaints, of course! “The examiner just didn’t like me!” “They didn’t see me checking my mirrors!” (Maybe because you were too busy auditioning for Fast & Furious, pal?). One examiner wisely stated, “We never fail anyone; we just observe & they simply fail themselves.” Truer words have never been spoken.

So, let’s raise a glass (of non-alcoholic beverage, naturally – we wouldn’t want to give them flashbacks) to the driving test examiners. May their coffee be strong, their patience infinite, and their scorecards filled with less-than-terrifying tales of near misses. They are the guardians of the road, the protectors of pedestrians, and the only reason some of us are allowed behind the wheel in the first place. Godspeed, you magnificent, clipboard-wielding warriors!